Kendo Rage

Speak softly and carry a big stick.

Game Data:

  • Review Date: June 6, 2021
  • Release Date: October 1, 1993
  • Platform: SNES
  • Publisher: Datam Polystar
  • Developer: Datam Polystar
  • Genre: Linear Platformer

Description: Armed with a kendo stick, Jo runs a bunch of stages typical of a platformer.


  • The attempts at humorous dialogue work pretty well, although a few jokes I have heard variations of in other places. Naming people after cars is interesting, but then I recall people named Porsche and Mercedes, so I don’t know.


  • Jo’s swimming segments are completely ridiculous. She apparently can stay underwater for infinite lengths of time, she can walk on the floors like they’re dry, and she can even wave the stick normally. She’s swimming in a dress and carrying a stick, yet never loses the stick. For some reason, though, the developers thought to make sure Jo holds her skirt down.


Whatever, Bob. Where’s my stick?
The boss must think highly of herself. She’s got a big head.
Jo’s wrapped up in a cloud for some reason.
I won, but barely. It wasn’t a clean fight. It was sloppy. Sloppy Jo.
It takes a few kind words from Bob to get the motor running.
So she didn’t bring an extra pair of pants with her on that bus that dropped her off?
I wish I had earplugs every time a Hyundai commercial comes on.
And here’s a bad pun just for the halibut. Never apologize for bad puns, ever.
There’s not a single realistic thing about these swimming segments, yet Jo has to keep her skirt down with her hands. They should have just had it stay down.
Is Jo all right there?
I got a shot in on the fish, but the fish got the final word.

Final Opinion: I really can’t recommend this. It’s got a few humorous lines, but otherwise, it’s a bland game.

Grade: D

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