It’s time for an Amp Rage!! Oh wait, I meant Rampage.

Review Date: April 6, 2021

Release Date: December 1, 1988

Platform: NES

Publisher: Data East, Bally Midway

Genre: Beat Em Up?

Anecdotes: This was another game my brothers played a ton, but I just couldn’t get into it. I saw them spend hours playing this game. Because of that, I thought I’d give it a try. Maybe this was an overlooked gem that I missed. Maybe this is a blast to play. Maybe I would enjoy this game as an adult. (Spoiler: All of those maybes are actually nos.)

Description: Let’s check the manual, shall we? The goal is to destroy all of the states in the U.S. After crushing an area, the screen automatically changes to the map screen, and the area destroyed is indicated in black. Some cities in California and Illinois [Illinois? Please don’t eat me!] are hard to destroy, so it may take two tries.

Essentially, George and Lizzie are on a mission to destroy the United States. Why? Who knows. The manual never says and I didn’t see it in the game, either. Then again, story matters very little in a game like this.

Positives: The map and the city names are accurate (except for “Peolia”) and the whole country is represented in some form. Even a couple of Canadian cities get a mention. The game also offers unlimited continues, and trust me, players will need them.

It’s nice to get CA out of the way first.

Negatives: Ok, nearly everything in this game annoys me, but nothing is more annoying than the controls that are the opposite of typical NES controls. The B button jumps while the A button punches. This caused me to press the wrong button quite a few times.

Meanwhile, the annoying “music” plays constantly in a five second loop. Luckily, it’s easy to tune out; it just becomes a low hum after a while. The visuals, though, are much harder to ignore. While some things are identifiable, many just left me guessing whether they’re good or bad.

I really wanted to keep playing until George and Lizzie come to this area on day 90, but I couldn’t take the game that long.

More Screenshots:

Lizzie wants to make a splash.
Lizzie got shrunk into a human.
The trees are flocked; there must have been a snowstorm in Salt Lake City.
Wait WHAT?!?!

Final Opinion: I didn’t enjoy playing this at all. It bored me to tears and I’m not sure I could motivate myself to keep playing.

Grade: D

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