There were a lot of classic games in 1987. Jaws isn’t one of them.

Review Date: March 12, 2021

Release Date: November 1, 1987

Platform: NES

Genre: ?

Anecdotes: I remember going into my brothers’ room and watching them play this game in there. I would hover around like a shark, but the game never really hooked me in. They didn’t know what they were doing, so I thought I (big brother) could come in and help. It turns out that I didn’t know what I was doing, either.

I bring my loyal readers an in-depth review, today, March 12, 2021.

Description: Beat Jaws. That’s it. Nothing else matters. The game can be beaten in 5 minutes, unless I’m playing, at which point it can’t be beaten at all.


Negatives: Take a look at the world map. I got questions:

  1. Where is the rest of it? Is it really no bigger than a single Gauntlet room?
  2. How and why is the ship blocked into this one little section? What is stopping the ship from exiting the area other than imaginary walls?
  3. Why are the only areas of interest two ports that serve the same function?
  4. What is with all the junk data tiles on the far right of the map?
Look at that column of junk up there. Yuck. Plus, I hit Jaws, as if there was anywhere to go to avoid that.

I start the game. I have a ship, and not even 10 tiles away, I’ve “hit something.” This starts an underwater scene where I just shoot ocean life creatures for a few minutes. Some drop items, but it’s all just a big waste of time. The scenes are on a timer, so there’s nothing I can do to speed them up. I finally get back to the ship, and not long afterward, I hit something else. Rinse and repeat, until I get a “Bonus Scene,” which is an even bigger waste of time. Here, I drop balls from an airplane trying to hit jellyfish with them. This would be mildly amusing, but I didn’t get to control the plane! It flies automatically back and forth across the top and all I could do was drop the ammunition on them.

Here’s another time waster this game likes to employ.

And then it’s back to the ship. Yay. Next up, I hit Jaws! I had two thoughts then: first, I just started playing 10 minutes ago, even though it felt like 8 hours, and second, I would get to see some special scenery for the Jaws battle. Wow, was I wrong. It’s just a standard dive, but with Jaws present.

I found Jaws, but knocking off 20 bars of power is a pipe dream for me.

Final Opinion: The game is a boring chore to play. Ending encounters only by timer is an awful idea. However, the game didn’t make my blood boil; it just merely put me to sleep, so I will not give it an F.

Grade: D

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *