Ikari Warriors

Hey, there’s a two player mode! That way, people can suffer in pairs.

Review Date: March 2, 2021

Release Date: May 1, 1987

Platform: NES

Publisher: SNK

Genre: Shooter

Anecdotes: Maybe, just maybe, this game is not how I remember it. My brothers played it more than I did, but I often sat and watched. I would gain knowledge from observation, but the two things that stood out were the tanks and long levels. When I joined in to play as a kid, I felt the game was all right; I’d play it if the cartridge were already in the NES, but I’d never reach into the suitcase to find this game. Moving ahead to 2021, I have played only the first level because that was all I could stand. The game was much worse than I remember.

Description: Two half naked idiots with no speed and barely any weapons take on an entire army full of guys that all look the same. The HNIs will mostly be on foot, but at times will get a tank or chopper to ride. Then they just go shooting things for a while.

Positives: There can be some fun in riding the tanks and helicopters, but neither mode of transportation lasts long enough to keep it fun.

I got a tank now; look at the enemy run away!

Negatives: I hated level one and gave up after finishing it. It took 27 minutes to play, partially because my HNI kept dying every 30 seconds and only reappeared thanks to the magic of video game lives. Hitting A B B A about a hundred times helped, too.

Here’s a trap I got stuck in for about 3 minutes.

So, after playing for nearly a half hour, I had wondered why those levels are so long. It shouldn’t take that long in ANY game to play one level. It also doesn’t help that the levels kept repeating the same elements over and over. There are bridges, grass, water, and barriers everywhere. Add in that fact that the guys move at the speed of a turtle, and the result is pain.

There are powerups and boxes with letters in them, but I don’t know what any of them do, and it doesn’t matter, anyway, because the guy will be dead 30 seconds later, anyway.

I just spent 27 minutes playing through this awful excuse of a level and this is all I get? Take that bonus and shove it.

Grade: F


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